Smiling to herself as she sat at the table waiting for him to bring back the drinks. She relaxed back in her chair and gazed out of the window to the cold June day that caused the trees to dance wildy in the wind. She thought about what she had learned, who she once was and who she had now become. She now had a job that she loved, wonderful people whom she knew so true and felt confident within herself to reach for what she wanted.
She was a woman who made mistakes, who sometimes cried on a Monday morning or at night alone in bed. She was a woman who often became bored with her life and found it hard to get up for work. She was a woman who more often than not had a bad hair day, who looked in the mirror and wondered why she couldn't just drag herself to the gym; she was a woman who sometimes questioned what reason had she to live on this planet. She was a woman who sometimes just got things wrong.
On the other hand, she was a woman with a million happy memories, who knew what it was like to experience true love and who was ready to experience more life, more love and make new memories. Whether it happened in ten months or ten years, she would just obey the final message. Whatever lay ahead, she knew she would open her heart and follow where it led her.
People have been commenting about my depressed and angry self these days. Ranging from, "All those post and words sound like it will come out from anyone BUT you." "What happened after you came back? You've changed." "Emokid."
Reason being: the only man I thought who seemed so true, the only man I loved not long but with my everything, the only man whom I'm willing to give up everything, turned out different. Everything which happened for the past coming-to-3years was all nothing but me being naive, all of a sudden. This realisation came too abruptly and hit me hard. I was lost.
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Accompanied PIC to Sentosa to pick out her menu for her catering buffet on her ROM. The villa will be awesome, I'm sooooo looking forward to it.
Shortlisted for the job. Going down at 1pm tomorrow. Will be on probation for a month - my ever first office job.
Working towards my motivation: I will bounce back to the invulnerable and independent self and prove to the whole world that I can live even better without anyone; I don't need a man.