Smiling to herself as she sat at the table waiting for him to bring back the drinks. She relaxed back in her chair and gazed out of the window to the cold June day that caused the trees to dance wildy in the wind. She thought about what she had learned, who she once was and who she had now become. She now had a job that she loved, wonderful people whom she knew so true and felt confident within herself to reach for what she wanted.
She was a woman who made mistakes, who sometimes cried on a Monday morning or at night alone in bed. She was a woman who often became bored with her life and found it hard to get up for work. She was a woman who more often than not had a bad hair day, who looked in the mirror and wondered why she couldn't just drag herself to the gym; she was a woman who sometimes questioned what reason had she to live on this planet. She was a woman who sometimes just got things wrong.
On the other hand, she was a woman with a million happy memories, who knew what it was like to experience true love and who was ready to experience more life, more love and make new memories. Whether it happened in ten months or ten years, she would just obey the final message. Whatever lay ahead, she knew she would open her heart and follow where it led her.
On another different note, I'm fucking fuming now. Or rather (as the saying goes), sick and tired.
I so don't wanna believe in the saying, "100% of divorces begin with marriage."
Don't make me believe this, DT... because I'm starting to.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
:(
1st :( Today's the 3rd day poor BB Chloe's down with fever and nonstop diarrhoea. 2nd :( Flower arrangement courses sum up to a bloody 4figure sum?!
3rd :( No signs of moolahs coming in in the near future (DT's hatching plans for me thou).
4th :( Went to ask for my new house and HDB says there's no flats available, till 1st of Oct to double confirm. And DT's loan most probably won't be approved over pfftttt... CPF reasons (me not over 21 doesn't help things either) 5th :( Life's becoming boring each day, with nothing I can do to spice it up and the disheartening thing is, my dreams seem further each day.
:( + :( + :( + :( + :( = :::::(((((
Monday, September 07, 2009
Dreamsss
Yesterday; classified: loving
Began in a ultra big theater (more like a concert hall) with me and DT some sort of chilling away (not watching? I don't know why).
All of a sudden, I was outside with an unknown woman talking, then DT came out and joined in.
He did something which I can't remember or don't know (you know how dreams are) that pissed me off and I went inside of the theater without saying anything.
I walked through many steps and paths like a maze to find a seat, deliberately not going back to our seats and turned my cell to silent in case DT calls and find out where I was.
I saw DT came in shortly, probably sensed that I was pissed, then he called ONCE (ji tao reflecting the reality knn) and went out of the theatre, supposedly looking for me.
People around asked me not to be so cruel and go find him (don't know from where pop out so many friends).
One couple I knew whom I can't remember sent me in their car and went rounding the island (don't question on the island 'cos I don't know).
Then in the mid, they said they were hungry and wanna look for something to eat.
I rejected and was worried about DT (it was already dark).
Then we came to a road and saw DT riding a bicycle (got so pathetic not?).
I alighted beside and, again, the unknown woman alighted too, from the same car I was in (knn that bitch don't know from where pop out in the car one).
DT held on to her arm and I was pissed off (X2) again.
I walked to the corner of the road with him (I thought I was angry?!) and saw a beautiful seaside cafe.
He previously came to the cafe to find me but to naught, so he organised a some sort of dinner there, thinking I'd love it.
Then I bio the cafe's name...
"Oh, so it's Cafe Del'Mar", I said. (wth?)
- Got woken up by DT's smelly and stupid dog banging the room door and couldn't get back to sleep aftermath #@$@^!@#... -
Just now; classified: betrayal and upset
I was wearing my panty (with pad somemore) on the massive huge bed that I couldn't see the corners when DT woke up.
2-3 other people were on the massiiive bed as well (all men, I suppose).
He woke up asking me some bo-link questions then realised I did something that betrayed him (you get the point).
Then we suddenly appeared at the entrance door and he was leaving.
I cried and begged for his forgiveness.
He said, "Once is enough, I can't take it twice." (since when got the twice?! so in my dreams, it WAS ALREADY twice)
I held onto his shirt and refused to let go.
Then my brain was planning how to beg more efficiently and decided to let him walk a distance first before I run out, deliberately without my slippers, to prove my sincerity (O.o?!?!).
Indeed, I let go and ran out without my slippers and cried even harder, head on his chest (DT got so tall meh?!), begging for him not to leave me (knn super dramatic).
He agreed.
Then I was back at the entrance door wearing my slippers.
He asked where was I going, and I replied to get some silence (when I was the one who betrayed him lar).
I walked down the streets, crying silently to myself, feeling darn guilt-stricken and considering about leaving DT for good.
Then all of a sudden, I appeared at a mediocre cafe cum food court, thinking of what to eat, but wasn't too hungry.
And decided on a char siew and veggie guo tiao, with gravy. (wth, again?)
- Commercial break and woke up with DT sleeping soundly beside, snatching my pillow. Hugged him tightly and couldn't get back to sleep aftermath #@%!$#@%!... -