Smiling to herself as she sat at the table waiting for him to bring back the drinks. She relaxed back in her chair and gazed out of the window to the cold June day that caused the trees to dance wildy in the wind. She thought about what she had learned, who she once was and who she had now become. She now had a job that she loved, wonderful people whom she knew so true and felt confident within herself to reach for what she wanted.
She was a woman who made mistakes, who sometimes cried on a Monday morning or at night alone in bed. She was a woman who often became bored with her life and found it hard to get up for work. She was a woman who more often than not had a bad hair day, who looked in the mirror and wondered why she couldn't just drag herself to the gym; she was a woman who sometimes questioned what reason had she to live on this planet. She was a woman who sometimes just got things wrong.
On the other hand, she was a woman with a million happy memories, who knew what it was like to experience true love and who was ready to experience more life, more love and make new memories. Whether it happened in ten months or ten years, she would just obey the final message. Whatever lay ahead, she knew she would open her heart and follow where it led her.
PP laughed his ass off for 78times at this picture:
He exclaimed it's the Pikachu on the left. You should've seen how they squeezed and squashed me, all of a sudden at the last minute the photo was taken. Especially the Pikachu; he just came running and bounced off my lap.
Yet again, another fuddled night.
*******************
One idiot spoilt my picture:
*******************
Illuzion's 2nd year anniversary tomorrow. As clichèd as it is, time flies.
*******************
(There's no meaning in this post. I just feel like blogging suddenly.)
Friday, September 28, 2007
"TGIF"
The list is sorted according from the most affecting and bothering to the least: • Fuckedup news • Neck discomfort • Period cramps • Nose block • Sore throat • Com crash/virus
What else? Not anyday, but on a Friday.
Lemme be a spoilt bitch for 10mins by ranting. From the very bottom...
Com crash/virus
Due to my lovely PP, my CPU had been encountering problems and reformatted for the fucking 3rd time in a week. Messages, pictures, videos could not be recovered. But, never mind, with loss comes a fresh start. BUT then again, I don't know he accepted what virus via MSN. So guys in my MSN list, you should know. Come to the thought of it, when some people go, "eh, can send again?", I can't stop myself and say, "Okok. Wait." Especially Ronald. Wahaha. Anyway, as I've sorted, it's the least bothering. So I shall skip that.
Sore throat
It was after 2 glasses of Chivas (yes, of all but the smelly and disgusting liquid), neat, on Wednesday night.
Nose block
Without a night of blanket.
Period cramps
I wonder why it must pick Friday. Anyway, it was a sign of the end. Not gonna lucubrate further.
Neck discomfort
I don't know how I slept last night, but what I know is that whenever I turn my head, the pain is not intolerable but will fucking piss me off. So I may be a bit more hostile tonight (if you are one of those people who go rolling your eyeballs, saying "You already are usually." Well, you can take it as 10times more if that makes you happy.)
Fuckedup news
P&C. But... what I can divulge is, I was totally taken aback by the interesting news, feeling disgusted and a complete turnoff. I thought over it, and a feeling suddenly hit me on my head, hard, and voila! -- I'm Linda again. I guess it's a good thing at this point of time.
What a lovely Friday to start with. Okay, let's see what else is on for me in the later part of the night.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Drama
Okay, I know my blog is starting to transform into something melancholic and dull. I don't want go ranting about AC everytime I talk.
BUT... other than him, I've been thinking about nothing these days. Like when I'm alone taking the train back home, I can go in a daze, mind occupied till the time when the train came to a stop at Pasir Ris, totally quiet and emptied, then will I come back to reality and take the opposite train back to Tampines. Another more extravagant example will be the bus - I took the bus 291, missing my stop is usual, but I actually took the bus one round and back to the interchange. When I realised that, I actually feel sad, not over him, but for myself. I've got myself into this shit mess.
Okay, it sounds really dramatic and stupid, but it's true. Nevertheless, things are taking up now. Anyway, Going ga-ga over some male specie is so not me, and I will not let that fact change for him either.
你有自由走,我有自由好好过。
Emo-tions
After the night you said "Ok Bye", it has been around 2weeks now. Except for the drunk nights, I must say I fared and carried myself pretty well.
I saw AC at fly on last Friday night. Because Felicia have the same clique of friends as AC, I was at his table for awhile. We were total strangers, if you were some bystander, you wouldn't have the faintest idea we know each other, much less we were once an item... once doesn't sound right. When our eyes met, I turned and left. It was really awkward. We shouldn't be behaving this way.
All the time in my life, I've always think that I'm invulnerable and strong till the state whereby I have a 'mood-setter'. In other words, if I want myself to be happy at a certain point when a normal being should be feeling upset or something, I can (and it's definitely not that I'm putting on a tough look but actually breaking down inside kind of thing). And that's for emotions, not fatigueness, etc. So don't expect me to keep awake for 3 nights and yet feel energetic that I can wrestle with 3 pigs. I'm no superwoman.
I was discussing this with Jason after that fateful night, about a week ago, and he said, "So you mean when you're actually sad, you act one lah." Okay, he got a point here. Probably at times I let emotions overcome me, and forgot the fact that I should be strong. Anyway, grieving is part of helping myself.
Whatever it is, I believe I will get over this in no time... Just because I am myself.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Nabeh
Let's kiss our dearest Pongpong's ass a million thanks, for crashing my cpu.
I've slammed my keyboard for 5985times, screamed my lungs out for 6988times and cursed for 9042times.
Okay, going on about it is not gonna aid anything.
Anyway, I've been keeping myself busy lately with school, Illuzion, Fly, PSP and other misc stuffs. Case in point: I've been re-reading my storybook for 2years now, and I haven't reach the epilogue because I always stop in the mid over certain reasons and when I wanted to get back to it, I forgets the story before that, and thus I need to re-read (Okay, this sentence is getting long).
Whatever it is, I have nothing to show now - no pictures nor videos. And it all boils down to... Alright, I said I wouldn't go on about it.
This is definitely not my night (now, my cigs are nowhere to be found). I can't imagine if I went to Fly. My heels will maybe break or pants will probably burst or something.
Okay, I'm going back to my PSP (I need to water my plants and kiss my Tigger goodnight).
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Au Revoir
Dream's over;
time to move on.
♥
A.C.
Never Be Replaced
♥
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Stupid
I woke up at 7am (never mind the fact that I actually slept for no more than 3hours the previous night) for school which ended at 4.30pm. And then I received a message from Fel at 5plus, asking if I could work that night. As usual, I pushed away all my stuffs and said okay, ignoring the fact that I am actually kind of tired and fagged out.
Then, I had drinks as per normal and was having this splitting headache at 10 to 11plus pm. I so much wanted to go home but persisted, but until 2am, I went to Dragonfly. I know I know, it's always like this.
Fly was actually a lil' more boring than usual (maybe because I wasn't drunk, not even high). A while later, Fel asked me to accompany her to 97, and I went.
We got on this cab, and the two of them (Haze and Fel) was like acting drunk inside the cab and saying stupid things (okay, I actually sounded more like a drunkard inside the cab, shouting and all. but that was because the two don'tknowdrunkornot-s pek-ed me)
Then when I was outside 97, I realised my cell wasn't with me (yay~). Haze called for like 5ormore times, and the line was rejected all the while (double yay~). Until when this man picked up...
me: "Hello? 你是cabuncle, huh?" CU (cabuncle): "不是, 我是外星人." me: "Huh? Simi 外星人?!" *I turn to Haze* me: "knn. 这个神精病以为自己很好笑lor." *Haze took over the line* Haze: "Hello? 你是谁?" CU: *said something I don't know* Haze: "我是电话的主人. 你不要一直问我是谁, 可以吗?" *they talked for quite awhile regarding "你是谁"topic* *Michelle (another girl at 97) took over* . . blah . . *Fel took over* . . blah . .
when Fel and Michelle went down to get my phone, the uncle asked for S$10 from them.
Okay, you guys might think that he's already good enough to return my cell, but I just feel like using pineapple to fuck his ass. Plus, I was already not feeling good, physically and emotionally, at that point of time.
Skipping the whole procedure in 97, when we were about to leave, Michelle was drunk and dillydallying. I was already very fedup and told Fel I'm leaving. She said to go home together. So I said okay. Haze was drunk as well, and I don't think Fel was in any sober state.
After a while, I was getting kind of impatient, raised my voice quite a abit and left. After Fel called out to me for more than a couple of times, I turned back and literally plop on the sofa, lying there, (I was just showing my displeasure and vexation) dead. Then Haze pulled me up, sat behind me, with her legs opened wide, hugging mine while Michelle came sitting on my lap, facing me (it was really obscene) and because she was drunk, she slipped and landed on my pointed heels. And she happily, in a besotted state, exclaimed 'hurhurha~ 你不要"doo"我的cb.' aloud. -_-"
While I went outside 97 to pick up a call, people had a commotion and fight at the entrance. I ignored, until this dontknowwho came running to me and said Fel was hit and lying on the floor. I rushed over and saw Michelle lying there instead. Her friends said they're sending her to the hospital.
I don't even know if it was for real or what. Before you think I'm fuckedup, Michelle mentioned to me earlier on she wanna act drunk to get the guy she like to quarrel with his wife. Complicating. Never mind.
Thing is, the fight wasn't even a slight of their business. I don't know why they have to get involved. Angrily, I left.
Plus, I'm feeling really unhappy with A.C. for his nonchalant YET distrust in me.
Point of this composition? - I had a stupid Wednesday night.
Now, I'm irritated by these two younger monkeys in the house and I'm not coming back until I feel any better.