Smiling to herself as she sat at the table waiting for him to bring back the drinks. She relaxed back in her chair and gazed out of the window to the cold June day that caused the trees to dance wildy in the wind. She thought about what she had learned, who she once was and who she had now become. She now had a job that she loved, wonderful people whom she knew so true and felt confident within herself to reach for what she wanted.
She was a woman who made mistakes, who sometimes cried on a Monday morning or at night alone in bed. She was a woman who often became bored with her life and found it hard to get up for work. She was a woman who more often than not had a bad hair day, who looked in the mirror and wondered why she couldn't just drag herself to the gym; she was a woman who sometimes questioned what reason had she to live on this planet. She was a woman who sometimes just got things wrong.
On the other hand, she was a woman with a million happy memories, who knew what it was like to experience true love and who was ready to experience more life, more love and make new memories. Whether it happened in ten months or ten years, she would just obey the final message. Whatever lay ahead, she knew she would open her heart and follow where it led her.
I'm writing this note to you because I know that if I say what I have to say to your face, I will probably punch you. I don't know you any more (or rather I've never known you deep enough), I don't see you any more. My point is, I don't want to be one of those easily forgotten people, so important at the time, so special, so influential and so treasured, yet years later just a vague face and a distant memory. I wish you all the best, hope you'll be happy, with or without me, really I am. Maybe our time has come and gone. And if that's the case, I won't be bothered writing this note. And if I can't be bothered writing this note then what am I doing still writing it? Whatever, I'm ripping these muffled thoughts up.
***
I'm horrified that things have gotten so bad that I'm actually waking up from dreams of you, suddenly in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep, thinking all about how could you have just disappeared from my life so abruptly, without a word of goodbye; I didn't see it coming. I wake up in the morning and I feel like I'm missing something. I know that there's some thing not right, and it takes me a while to remember what it is... then I remember. You're gone. It was silly of me to rely so much on one person. It's all coming back on me now.